June 19, 2006

Just Like You, Dad

It’s hard to know what to say on Father’s Day. 

If you’re anything like me, you want to say something profound and touching, and somehow “Happy Father’s Day” doesn’t quite cut it.  Maybe the reason it’s difficult to pin down a good description of dad is because we see our fathers differently than the rest of the world does. 

Take my father for instance.  To the outside world he’s Dr. Bill Chobotar a respected scholar, scientist and university professor.  He’s an internationally known research biologist with decades of teaching experience.  Forgive me while I brag on my dad a bit.  He’s written over 75 professional publications and received nearly a dozen teaching, research or advising awards.  He’s the American editor of Parasitology Research—a top scientific journal in his field.  He has helped discover or describe 14 new species of parasites and has been honored by his peers by having two parasites named after him.  Now I know it may not sound like much of an honor to have a parasite named after you, but in scientific circles it’s pretty great.

On top of that, some of my dad’s colleagues describe him as a bit of a renaissance man.  In his free time he’s become a fabulous cook, an avid art enthusiast, a classical music lover and a history buff.  He especially enjoys reading about World War II, Medieval history, the Civil War and the American West.

The thing is, these accolades aren’t what come to mind when I think of Bill Chobotar.  Instead, my memory banks bulge with images of another sort.

I remember…dad sitting on the edge of my bed at night reading me adventure stories from his old fifth grade reader.  The music of Beethoven drifted into my room from the family stereo and I listened to his stories dreaming of one day setting off on noble quests of my own.

I remember…wrestling on the living room floor when dad came home from work.  He’d pretend to let me win for awhile then he’d roll over and blow raspberries on my neck which tickled and scratched all at once due to his five o’clock shadow.  I’d laugh and squeal in his arms till the raspberries turned to kisses.

I remember…splitting logs and stacking firewood for hours on a Sunday afternoon.  Dad did all the hard work, but I got to carry the smaller sticks used to start our wood-burning stove. I felt so manly and grown up when Dad called Mom and my sisters outside to oooh and ahhh over the big wood pile “the boys” had made.  Dad’s proud hand on my shoulder always made me stand a little taller.

I remember…the first time I lied to my dad as a teenager.  Told him I was going somewhere fully intending to go some place else.  He found out—as dad’s often do—and sat me down for a talk.  To this day I don’t remember the words he said, but I remember how disappointed in me he was.  Despite his disappointment, he also let me know how much he loved me.  His tough, tender love made a lasting impression that I’m grateful for to this day.

I remember…the walk dad and I took one cool spring evening to talk about girls.  I was full of questions and he was ready with answers.  Being a teacher he went way beyond the birds and bees giving me details as only a scientist can.  At the time I recall feeling fascinated and frightened by the whole concept of brides, babies and the biology behind it all.

Though my dad worked hard and often long hours I remember he was there for me when it mattered most.  I could call him at work and he would take time to talk or to help.  One of the greatest complements I’ve ever received was being told, “Todd, you’re just like your father.”  That’s my lifelong goal.  To be like my dad.

The world tends to measure a man’s success by the size of his title, his home, his accomplishments or his bank account.  But I believe God measures a father’s success by the greatness of his love, the extent of his self-sacrifice, and the humbleness of his heart.  By that measure, I call my dad’s life a genuine success.

“The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:1,9 NKJV

Todd Chobotar
Mission Development
Florida Hospital