February 8, 2006

The Kitten Chronicles - Freedom To Go

My kittens* like to snuggle.  Especially at bedtime.

Every night my wife and I have a routine we follow.  Wash face, brush teeth, floss, change, etc.  As soon as we start our routine Simon and Schuster come into the room and jump onto the bed to wait for us to finish.  They know snuggle time is near.  Once we finish our routine and climb into bed they find their favorite spots.  Simon likes to lay down between Jeannine and I so he has maximum opportunity to be scratched.  He likes to be scratched behind the ears, under the chin, along his back and on his tummy.  For Simon, snuggling and scratching go hand-in-hand.  Schuster however, prefers to just snuggle.  He likes to find a comfortable spot on Jeannine’s legs where he can relax, purr and sleep to his hearts content.   

This nightly ritual has gone on for years.  Until last week.

We had guests visiting for a few days.  One evening they went to bed early.  With the cats wandering the house freely Jeannine and I worried they might disturb our visitors.  So we went into the bedroom to get ready for bed--knowing the cats would follow us.  As usual Simon and Schuster took up positions on the bed to wait for us.  Just to be sure they stayed in our room I shut the door.  As soon as the bedroom door closed the cats leapt off the bed and went straight to the door.  They wanted to get out.  They whined to get out.  But I didn’t open it.  Instead I went to brush my teeth.  It’s okay, I thought.  Once Jeannine and I climb into bed, they’ll come back for snuggling.  But they didn’t.  We laid down, they stayed away.  We called them and cajoled them, but they refused to come to us like they always had.

Here’s what I learned that night.  The affection of our cats requires an open door policy.  If the cats are free to come and go, they usually choose to stay and snuggle.  If the freedom to go is gone, their affection goes with it.  Sound silly?  Not really.  Human’s work much the same way. 

When it comes to love, loyalty and affection, people also need an open door.  You’ve probably noticed this in romantic relationships.  When a couple starts to date and fall in love there is power in the freedom of choice.  Each partner chooses to stay in the relationship.  They could walk away and be with someone else, but they don’t.  As a result, the relationship can grow.  The freedom to leave makes the choice to stay more meaningful. 

This is equally true in marriage.  Love can not be compelled.  Each spouse made a promise to be devoted and faithful to the other.  Yet even in a committed relationship each one has the legal right to sever the bond and walk away.  When there is freedom to go, love has a chance to grow.  Close the door to freedom and you close the door to love.

Maybe that’s why God operates the way he does.  His love has an open door policy.  You are free to accept it, reject it, ignore it or be swept up in it.  The choice is yours. 

Why would an all-powerful God put the power to love him or leave him in your hands?  Because, “Love... doesn't force itself on others.” (1 Corinthians 13:4,5 MSG)  Instead love leaves the door open and hopes you choose to stay.

The Apostle Paul points out, “Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love… He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us.” (Ephesians 5:2 MSG)  That’s a pretty amazing God.  Giving instead of demanding.  He wants to win your heart, so what does he do?  He offers free will. 

When it comes to cats, I’ve learned my lesson.  Give them the freedom to go and hope they choose to stay.  If you can believe it, that’s God’s strategy as well.  It’s risky.  It’s dangerous.  But, it’s love.  Real love.  

So what’s your choice?  What will you do with your freedom?

“We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.”

1 John 4:16 MSG

* I still think of my cats as kittens even though they aren't so little anymore.  :-)

Todd Chobotar
Mission Development
Florida Hospital