Offer to go with the bereaved person or family to the funeral home to make arrangements.

Be available in the bereaved's home the first day or two. Answering the phone and attending to any errands can free up the family to attend to other matters.

Check for the often used staples such as bread, milk, etc and offer to bring in any needed items.

Catalogue food, flowers, and other gifts as they arrive. This list will prove helpful to the family when they need to acknowledge the kindnesses of their friends.

Tape your phone number to the phone. This will enable the family to have ready access to your number should they need to call.

Offer to bring a light lunch or breakfast for the family prior to the memorial service.

Have someone stay in the home during the visitation and memorial service.

See that anyone who needs transportation to and from the airport is accommodated.

Arrange for housing or child care if necessary.

Straighten up the house, do laundry, and run any necessary errands.

When sending a sympathy card, a short message of what you appreciated about the person who died can be very heart-warming for the bereaved family.

Call or stop by the day after the service, especially if the survivor is alone. Offer to return dishes, run errands, etc.

Call often; for the widowed, evenings and weekends are the worst times.

Bring dinner in and stay to eat and visit once in a while.

Be sensitive to the weekly and monthly anniversaries of the death, as well as birthdays and other special days.

Be willing to listen to the bereaved. Shared tears can be wonderfully healing.

Avoid the use of cliches.

Encourage talking about the one who has died.

Do not encourage disposing of the deceased's belongings until the survivors are ready, which may be many weeks or months.

Offer to accompany the bereaved person to the store or church the first few times.

While some try to keep very busy, activity can be a way to block dealing with the feelings. Help the person find a middle ground when possible.

Be prepared for the bereaved not to be able to get out to lunch and expect that they may turn down social invitations for a while.

Offer to make a cemetery visit with the bereaved.

Ask what ways you can be supportive during the holidays and other special days.

Grief does not end; it softens and changes. Most bereaved people need longterm support in terms of months and years. Your presence and nonjudgmental listening can be a true gift to the bereaved person.