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NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS

It is perfectly normal to have different physical sensations and out of the ordinary behaviors after losing a loved one. And some of your thoughts and feelings may surprise you. They too are normal and are simply a reaction to the loss you have had. Notice which the reactions you have experienced since your loss.

Physical Sensations

  1. Stomach: hollowness, "butterflies," hunger, nausea, loss of appetite.
  2. Chest, throat: pain, tightness, breathlessness.
  3. Dry mouth, increased perspiration.
  4. Shakiness.
  5. Headaches.
  6. Lack of energy; overall weakness.
  7. Overly sensitive to noise.
  8. Sense of depersonalization: "Nothing seems real".
  9. Same physical symptoms as deceased's illness.

Thoughts

  1. Disbelief: "Oh, no!" "It’s not happening to me".
  2. Confusion, forgetfulness.
  3. Preoccupation or obsessive thinking about the deceased.
  4. Finality: "Things will never be the same." "You can't go back".
  5. Anger "it’s not fair," "Why did it happen?"
  6. "If only..." "I wish..."
  7. Forging ahead: "I have to make some decisions," I have to get through it".
  8. Paranormal experiences: sense of presence, visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, dreams.
  9. Dread: fear of own or other's death.
  10. Suicide: "Life has no meaning."

Behaviors

  1. Sleeping and appetite disturbances.
  2. Crying, sighing.
  3. Absent-minded behavior.
  4. Searching behavior; expecting the deceased.
  5. Social withdrawal.
  6. Marked increase or decrease in activity; restlessness.
  7. Increase in illness/accidents.
  8. Change in work performance: late, leaving early or working late, not meeting deadlines, shutting office door, eating alone.
  9. Yelling.
  10. Increased alcohol/drug/nicotine intake.
  11. Sloppy dressing; poor personal hygiene.
  12. Activity regarding the deceased: searching & calling out, visiting places or treasuring objects as reminders of the deceased, talking to deceased's picture or ashes.

Feelings

  1. Sadness.
  2. Anger, frustration, irritation, misdirected hostility.
  3. Depression.
  4. Guilt.
  5. Victimized, helpless, out of control, futility.
  6. Not being valued.
  7. Loneliness.
  8. Shock, numbness.
  9. Yearning.
  10. Fear.
  11. Relief.
  12. Peace, resolution.

Download printable version of this document here.

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